For various reasons I’ve had a crap start to the week. My sister left on Sunday and I was so sleepy that I dosed off on the tube home. Come Monday all my energy and positivity was gone. I missed my sister lots and all I wanted to do was just be. Do what I want. No musts.
My contract with the BBC is coming to an end and as much as I like the uncertainty of not knowing where I’ll be after I return from the US, parts of me, big parts, wish we had the funding so I could just continue working on our company. But we don’t, yet, so I’ll be freelancing for a while longer.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m quite looking forward to seeing some old familiar faces and to new challenges, but time is the thing I need the most and there just isn’t enough. We’ve got so many exciting things to be getting on with and it’s frustrating not being able to do just that. Instead we’re constantly having to dip in and out and it makes progress slower. That was partly what was getting me down this week.
We’re on to something really good and I can’t wait to make it happen. So somehow we need to find the time. But that time needs to be taken from something else and that would be spare time.
My friends are very understanding and brilliant, but in some way it’s also easier for them. They don’t see me every day sat in front of the computer, working yet again. D does. Yesterday I apologised to him for constantly working at the moment and asking him to please let me know if it really was getting too much. I got the loveliest of email back from him and it made me realise how important his support is and how I wouldn’t be able to do this without it. He wants me to go after my dream and he encourages me to do so. He’s the one who cheers me up when I get tired and who makes me remember that the things I do get worked up about, I don’t need to worry about them and shouldn’t let them get to me. It will all be alright.
Tomorrow – Day 055 | Getting your eight hours of sleep
Image source: www.flickr.com/photos/stevendepolo/3968766889/sizes/o/in/photostream